Toxic Relationships: When the body becomes the key to liberation

Some relationships drain us. They make us lose our vitality, our confidence, our clarity. They slowly disconnect us from ourselves—until we no longer recognize who we are.These relationships are not just emotionally painful. They affect our entire physiology.

Let’s explore what a toxic relationship is, how it impacts the nervous system, and how somatic healing becomes a path to freedom.

What is a toxic relationship?

A toxic relationship is one where power dynamics dominate. One person seeks to maintain a sense of superiority over the other through control, manipulation, or domination. In this type of relationship, communication serves to gain control rather than foster genuine connection. One person ends up losing their agency, living in confusion, often serving as an object to the other’s needs.

These patterns are often hard to detect at first. Why? Because toxic dynamics rarely appear from the start. There is often a “grooming” phase, filled with charm and idealization. The manipulative person presents a perfect version of themselves, one that seems to fulfill the other’s needs. Once trust is gained, small violations begin—subtle at first, then increasingly invasive.

Over time, this leads to cognitive dissonance: the mind tries to reconcile the contradiction between loving words and harmful actions. This creates internal confusion, leaving the victim doubting their own perceptions.

How does it affects the nervous system?

Toxic relationships place the nervous system in a state of constant stress. It’s like being under threat all the time, exposed to psychological “drips” of poison that wear down our resilience.

The sympathetic nervous system stays activated: we feel restless, anxious, on high alert. We might also fall into freeze or dissociation states—feeling numb, disconnected, or like we’re floating above our body.

The body loses its ability to rest, regulate, and recover. The toxic partner often uses projection, blaming the other for their own behaviors. Slowly, doubt creeps in: "Maybe it’s me." "I’m too sensitive." "I must be doing something wrong."

This self-doubt marks the peak of control. The invisible thread connecting us to our inner truth becomes thin… sometimes almost imperceptible.

Some symptoms may include:

• Constant self-doubt and confusion

• Fatigue, insomnia, frequent illness

• Hypervigilance (walking on eggshells)

• Crying often, isolating from loved ones

• Feeling ashamed, apologizing constantly

• Doing things out of character

• Loss of joy, motivation or clarity

• Symptoms of chronic stress or auto-immune issues

Manipulative tactics may include:

• Gaslighting

• Triangulation

• Emotional blackmail

• Sudden mood shifts

• Public/private double standards

• Blame, criticism, denial

• Silence or withdrawal as punishment

Important: In a toxic relationship, meaningful change is rarely possible.

Even therapy or open communication often becomes another weapon in the cycle of control.

Why do we stay?

We stay because something in the dynamic feels familiar. Toxic relationships often reactivate attachment wounds from childhood.

We may feel surprised someone could lack so much empathy—it contradicts our values. We may keep hoping the person we met in the beginning will “come back.” But the early charm was often a mask.

Many people also carry deep shame that toxic partners detect and exploit. When we’re disconnected from our body, we stop receiving danger signals. Our instincts dull, confusion takes over, and we begin to normalize the unacceptable.

We adapt because we feel we have no choice. When we can’t fight or flee—due to emotional, financial or family ties—we freeze or dissociate. The nervous system prioritizes survival.

How does healing begin?

Often, a trigger shakes the routine—a moment of clarity. From there, it becomes possible to step back and observe the situation with honesty. Document what feels off. Notice the patterns. Start learning. Seek support.

The next step? Self-compassion.This wasn’t your fault. Your nervous system did exactly what it needed to survive.

Healing also means taking responsibility—not for the abuse, but for the unhealed parts of us that tolerated it. This is where the work begins.

Somatic tools like yoga, breathwork, tai chi, or meditation help us reconnect with sensation—our inner compass.

How does somatic therapy to rebuild the self?

Somatic healing allows us to access the freeze state in the body safely. By slowing down, we learn to feel the places where movement stopped.

Rather than forcing release, we meet the frozen parts with patience. We observe. We tolerate. And we follow the smallest movements of life still present in the body.

Eventually, the discharge happens: a gentle release of tension, emotion, or energy. And the nervous system can begin to regulate again.

Healing means reducing sympathetic charge and restoring our internal space. It starts with creating safety and routine—however small. Prioritize rest. Learn to say no. Practice stillness. Take 24 hours before reacting when unsure.

We may need to grieve the relationship we thought we had, and nurture a new vision of connection based on truth and self-respect. Your energy is sacred. It’s time to protect it.

The body, which once stored all the pain, now becomes the way out. Trauma leaves its mark in the tissues—but those tissues can regenerate.

Just as the skin heals after a cut, our nervous system can heal too.The key is restoring movement—the life force—within us.

A message of hope

Toxic relationships are not failures. They are experiences—sometimes deeply painful ones—but they can also be gateways to growth.

The human experience includes both darkness and light. And healing doesn’t happen in a straight line. It requires patience, tenderness, and above all, regulation.

The more we meet ourselves with love, the more we invite safe, vibrant relationships into our lives. Because when the body finds rest… clarity returns. And we can finally say: "This person, no. That one, yes."

That is the beginning of emotional maturity. Of adulthood. And of true freedom.